Most often we use words like Umm, Err, I mean, etc during a conversation without even realising how frequently it is used. We might not notice while speaking but it may be a major distraction to the person you are talking to. In general, we use these words when we are thinking of a right word or trying to formulate a sentence. The reasons may be many but it actually sounds not that pleasing and needs to be minimised if not stopped completely. Here are few techniques that can help:
- Record your conversation: Try and record your conversation with your family and friends so that you can hear how you sound like. This is the first step in identifying the problem and as cliche it may sound that “if you want to fix a problem, first you have to admit that you have one”. Once you have identified your filler words that you use most often, you can now think for the reason you use it.
- Commit yourself to quit: Like any other habit that you want to get rid of, you have to show your commitment to quit. When you hear yourself say one, monitor and replace it with the word you actually mean to say, or repeat the last couple of words without filler word. The more you do this, the quicker you’ll train your mind away from them. It is also important to understand the reason behind using it. It might be just because you are speaking too fast and need a moment to process your thoughts. If you need a pause to catch up on your thoughts, it is perfectly fine to have a moment of silence. It is not that awkward. Silence is always longer in our minds. Infact, by taking a pause in between, you are emphasizing a lot more importance on what you are about to speak.
- Using Virtual Reality to your advantage: Once you are aware of your habit and have worked on quitting it too , you now need to check your use of filler words in a formal setting as we tend to use it more during such situation. The best way to minimise it to know what you are going to speech too well. Have a script ready in your mind but do not memorise it. Practice using Virtual Reality can help as the mind is tricked in a virtual environment and you will get a simulated environment.
The easiest way to quit a habit is to give your time and attention in developing a new habit. Do not get stressed about using filler words, just make a conscious effort to minimise its use. You will be surprised how far it can get you.